In a move that shocked racing purists and delighted stoners everywhere, NASCAR announced over the weekend that it had officially approved its first-ever cannabis-sponsored vehicle. The car, a sleek emerald-green stock car emblazoned with swirling weed leaves and the unmistakable logo of Blazed Trail Botanicals, made its debut Sunday at the Brickyard 400 in Indianapolis.
The number? 420, naturally.
From Rainbow Road to the Brickyard
Behind the wheel was rookie driver and self-proclaimed “speed demon” Skunk Davis Jr., a former three-time Mario Kart World Champion who swapped Rainbow Road for actual pavement after what he called “irreconcilable differences with Nintendo.” Now a full-time stay-at-home son from Humboldt County, Skunk arrived at Indianapolis Motor Speedway sporting aviator sunglasses, a hemp-fiber racing suit, and the kind of ignorant confidence only possessed by someone who’s spent years blaming game glitches for every lost race and blue shell disaster. He made history simply by showing up — but it was his performance that truly left a mark. Or rather, the lack of one.
While the rest of the pack tore across the track at breakneck speeds nearing 200 mph, Skunk’s No. 420 car was seen cruising in the far-right lane of the oval, maxing out at a cautious 55 mph.
Race officials initially assumed a mechanical failure.
“Nope, she purrs like a kitten,” Skunk confirmed during a post-race press scrum. “I just didn’t wanna get pulled over, man. I was riding dirty.”
When pressed on what exactly he meant, Skunk nodded solemnly and mumbled something about “the glove box situation” and “a half-eaten brownie that might still be active.” The press corps, clearly as baffled as they were amused, reported that the No. 420 pit crew was later seen passing around CBD gummies and wearing shirts that read “Hydrate. Medicate. Rotate Tires.”
Blazed Trail Botanicals issued a statement after the race, praising Skunk for his “dedication to safety and chill vibes” and insisting that the brand had “no regrets whatsoever” about the partnership.
“This is a huge win for normalization,” said CMO Flower Terpene. “We wanted to show that cannabis culture can coexist with high-performance sports, even if we, uh, underperformed today.”
Merch, Munchies, and Marijuana Marketing
According to unofficial fan polling, Skunk’s car was still the most photographed vehicle in the parking lot and inspired a huge spike in nacho sales at concession stands.
While Skunk finished dead last — technically lapped seventeen times by the winner — he still earned a raucous standing ovation from a sunburned section of fans who, by all accounts, had no idea the race had even started.
NASCAR officials declined to comment directly on the performance, but one anonymous insider did note that “as long as his car passed inspection and he wasn’t sparking up in pit lane, it’s within regulation.”
Rumors are already swirling that Blazed Trail is working on a line of “Indica Ignition” energy drinks and a signature strain called Tight Left Turn, expected to be “mellow on the draw, with a piney finish and notes of burnt rubber.”
Skunk, meanwhile, has his eyes set on Iowa Corn 350. “I’m gonna try for 60 next time,” he said. “Maybe 65 if I’ve got some CBD lotion for the wrists.”
When asked if he saw himself as the future of NASCAR, Skunk took a long, theatrical exhale—part philosophical, part edible-induced delay—and said, “Nah, man… I am the present.”
