It started, as these things usually do, on Reddit. A stoner with too much time and too little flower looked into his grinder, saw nothing but seeds, stems, and powdery shake, and had a revelation: this worthless detritus is still more real than the U.S. dollar.
Within weeks, Shakecoin was born—the world’s first memecoin backed not by faith, not by gold, not by the full credit of a government teetering on $35 trillion in debt, but by the true floor sweepings of dispensaries nationwide.
“People laughed at me when I said money grows on trees,” said Shakecoin founder Dankonomist420. “Now it grows on cannabis plants. Literally.”
Because Nixon Ruined Everything
Once upon a time, America’s money meant something. You could walk into a bank, slap down a crumpled bill, and technically demand gold. That tethered paper to a real, shiny thing. Then Richard Nixon, sweating through his jowls on live television, said, “nevermind,” and unchained the dollar from gold.
Fifty years later, Shakecoin’s backers argue they’ve restored sanity.
“We’ve reestablished a commodity standard,” said Dr. Herb Greene, a self-described “weedonomist” at Berkeley. “It’s just a very shitty commodity.”
Seeds, Stems, and Sovereign Debt
Shakecoin’s timing is impeccable. The U.S. national debt spirals upward, inflation nibbles at paychecks, and faith in the dollar is sinking faster than a Joint Chiefs approval rating.
“People want a currency they can trust,” said Luna Vega, one of the earliest Shakecoin whales. “The dollar’s just a government IOU. Shakecoin is a baggie you can roll joints out of. Which one’s more useful during an economic collapse?”
On Wall Street, Shakecoin is treated as both a joke and a potential hedge. Hedge funds have quietly bought millions of Shakecoin “units,” reasoning that even if the coin crashes, dispensary waste will still have barter value in a Mad Max future where weed is worth more than water.
The Rise of the Dank Dollar
Shakecoin joins the pantheon of absurd cryptocurrencies that somehow became real. Dogecoin went from meme to NASCAR sponsor. Shiba Inu coin turned internet dogs into speculative frenzy. Now Shakecoin’s tagline—In Shake We Trust—is plastered across Discord servers, weed forums, and a handful of progressive economics blogs.
Even Elon Musk, never one to resist chaos, posted a cryptic “” tweet last month, sparking a Shakecoin surge that briefly gave the coin a market cap larger than the GDP of Uruguay.
Real-world adoption is accelerating in ways that would make Powell nervous. Dispensaries in Colorado and Oregon now accept Shakecoin. The digital coin’s developers are already working on staking protocols that let holders earn interest in “Keifcoin,” a derivative currency.
“Shakecoin is blunt economics,” said Greene. “It’s waste turned into wealth, which is more than you can say about Treasury bonds right now.”
Also Read: Lena Waithe’s New Chapter Begins with First Draft
Smoke-Filled Futures
Of course, skeptics warn Shakecoin is a bubble waiting to burst. “You can’t pay rent in seeds,” said Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen when pressed about the phenomenon. Still, her aides admitted off the record that Shakecoin had “more tangible backing than the Federal Reserve Note.”
And that’s the paradox: Shakecoin began as a joke, but in an economy built on vibes and deficits, maybe a currency backed by cannabis sweepings isn’t the dumbest idea on the blockchain.
“Shakecoin is sound money for a dumb world,” said Vega. “If the dollar collapses, gold will buy bread. Shakecoin will buy peace of mind.”
